Gift of a Child

Many an hour I’ve spent pondering the gift of a child.  These bundles of joy arrive in our lives and capture our hearts. No instruction booklet comes with them either.  I’m sharing my thoughts on the topic today…

Such a serious and pensive look on her face as she, watched the light pierce into our bedroom between half closed curtains dancing on the gentle breeze. It was a beautiful sunny day. We had been watching the clouds change shapes through the window. Mother was thoroughly enjoying her daughter’s company.
She was laying down with one leg propped up on her knee…laying down Indian style. I could see the wheels in her head turning. Blessed my heart to watch her so deep in thought. She might have been five years old at the time. Maybe almost 5.

“So, light goes everywhere?” she looked at me with an almost “eureka” expression on her face…
“Yes, it does” I quietly replied wondering what was going to be come out of all the deep thought she had been in…
“Ok, but Momma,’ Her voice getting louder, more confident…I smiled and listened…she’s sitting up now…hand on her hip- “light travels through everything? Me, you, the window and curtains…everywhere! Did you know that? It just goes where ever and everywhere!”
She had it! And she knew it!
“Why yes, I did…but how do you know it?” I was simply awestruck. She was just beginning to read, no where near the reading level to study the basic characteristics of light and how it travels yet.

That’s my girl. My gift from on High. Proof that the Powers that be Love me and smile on me. I am beyond blessed to call her mine!
I nurtured that inquisitive nature and love for science that made itself known that day.

At the time I was writing this post, my daughter is traveling by herself via airplane to a medical school interview. I’m a praying mother and prayed without ceasing for her the entire trip…I pray for her every single day and have done so from the very moment I knew I was carrying her. People close to me know, if you are looking at my daughter, you are looking at my heart!

Words cannot describe how incredibly proud I am of the young woman she’s become!! She’s an old soul. Most folks take years to achieve the perspective she has about life and the world we live in…if they ever widen and elevate their perspective at all. It’s just been natural for her.

Let’s go ahead and leave whatever labels we have at the door: Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Agnostic, Buddhist, Atheists, Pantheist and on and on.

Truthfully I respect all persons regardless of beliefs. I have good friends and acquaintances held in high regard from various belief systems.

I see the common ground we all stand on.

However, none of these labels matter really for this discussion…

Let’s dive right into the nuts and bolts of what I need to say-

Don’t we?

Don’t we all want the best for our children?
Don’t we all want more for them in life than we had ourselves?( I’m not talking about material things here either. )
Don’t we all want to see our children doing well as a human being? Personal growth?
Uh…a resounding YES, we do!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t we ALL love our children????
Yes!!! We do!!!!
Asking one more time-

Don’t we all love our children?

Love doesn’t care about labels, affiliations and ideologies. Love just is and is respecter of no persons. Love flows generously to all and through all…evident in the face and glimmering eye of a new born baby. Completely innocent and full of love and light. Dependent on you for their every need.  Babies are born loving.
(Re-read the previous paragraph. Stop here and think about it for a moment. )

Babies. Are. Born. Loving. Period.

What happens along the way? How does the pain and suffering get set loose in the world and taken out on those around us?
Wait! Don’t blame the “devil.” (We all know somebody was going to go there.)
So easy it is to blame all that is wrong in the world on a devil. Always someone else’s fault, never our own. “The devil made me do it.” Not this blog post. Not this blog.

Not today.

This is about personal accountability.

Personal accountability is a topic that gets almost no acknowledgement in sermons in most western pulpits. Good reason, everything is pinned on the cross as lined out in the Bible, once they heed that call all sins are forgiven. And they are forgiven, because it’s your faith that makes you whole regardless of your spiritual or religious affiliation.

I’ll take that a step further and put forth, no where does it say if your actions and behaviors hurt others and continue to hurt others, you absolved from personal accountability of those actions. We’re grateful you turned your life around, time to fix fences.  You know? Kind of what “go and make it right with your brother” verses are all about.

Let’s say you’re in trouble, maybe legal trouble. You turned your life around and for that I am truly grateful for the life change you experience in what ever way in comes to you (religions, ideologies etc). However, you’re probably still gonna need to go through and humbly deal the with the consequences of your actions.

Personal accountability.

OUCH!

Most never put effort into doing the inner work. The personal growth and development as a human being.

The mirror is being held up today. Yes, in fact I have taken a good long look into at myself as well.  Far from perfect, I fully own all the mistakes I’ve made in life and can look at them with gratitude now because I found the pearl of great price in them. I found the lesson to be learned. Who knows, there maybe more faux pauxs in my future.  I certainly don’t rule it out…I’m human.  Like you.  None of us are perfect. Our egos are the problem. Pride goes before the fall.

The Bible, Koran and Bhgavidad Gita tell us children are a gift.

(Side note: I encourage studying ideologies different from your own. Be enriched by it when you realize we really aren’t all that different. Understanding a different perspective is not an attempt at conversion. There are treasures to be mined. Learning promotes awareness, increased awareness widens perspective which will decrease hate in our world.)

I like the following Buddhist quote about love:

Like a caring mother holding and guarding the life of her only child, so with a boundless heart of loving kindness, hold yourself and all beings as your beloved children.
Gautama Buddha

So what happened?

We are born full of love and fully loving. What happened along the way?
Life happened. Situations and circumstances happened. People take the hurt and hurt other people and the cycle is created and set in motion. Years and lifetimes of this turns beings born full of love and fully loving to beings hurting each other. That cycle can be broken. Welcome to the dysfunctional world. Doesn’t have to stay that way. You have the power to heal and change. Accept the challenge to be the best you!!

In no way am I telling you what you’ve been through is uneventful. Absolutely not!! What  I am telling you if you choose not to heal, if you choose being a victim, your life and relationships will suffer.  Chronically.

The time is NOW to heal. The time is NOW to take personal accountability and ownership of your life.

You are the captain of your ship!

I know hard things happened to you as a child…maybe even as an adult BUT choose to be an over comer! Choose to heal! Especially if you are a parent! You’re the only one who can choose healing for yourself.

I put forth some of my “maybe’s” as to why we see so much dysfunctional suffering in the world

Maybe parents inject their own insecurities into their children?

Maybe parents force their own un-reached life goals onto the lives of their children?

Maybe not teaching our kids HOW to think instead of WHAT to think is the problem?

Maybe we taught them our own biases and this has resulted in so much hate?

Maybe the unhealed wounds picked up in life and projected onto our children setting up cycles of dysfunction that go on and on?

Maybe we passed unhealthy habits and behaviors on to them: manipulation, selfishness,  etc?

Maybe we need to learn how to set boundaries in relationships and teach our kids how to do the same?

After all, babies aren’t born racist, bigoted or indoctrinated? Babies aren’t born ready to wave a holy book at another human being telling them their love couldn’t possibly be valid while rallying behind a public official under investigation for violating children?   Babies aren’t born caring about left, right or middle.

Babies simply LOVE US.  Unconditionally.  As intended.  Humanity put conditions on love, and humanity has suffered as a result. 

I could think out loud for quite sometime…

Example
Using kids, grand kids to perpetuate emotional extortion, ie “If you want to see them you have to do x, y, z for me or I won’t bring them around. Or I’ll cut you off. Etc.”

Rather than take ownership of their lives and provide for themselves and their young family a cycle of emotional extortion is created. And it’s probably repeated a few times over a few generations before it’s identified in current day and called out.

Our children are born to love. Nurture the gift you have been given. I believe the gift of the child is seeing yourself as the Creator, God, Great Spirit or Source sees you reflecting back at you from their eyes and receiving that love. The eyes are the window to the soul. You have to love yourself before you can love others. Not in an ego materialistic sense. I’m talking about compassion. Unconditional love.

That’s the gift of a child.

The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. Matt 6:22

I leave you with this prayer, intention, & affirmation. Whatever term you are most comfortable with… It’s all energy, send it out with love:

I pray that your child/children would cause you to take the inner path and do the inner work that results in wholeness and healing of your being and that your whole being would be filled with light.  That’s the gift of a child. 

 

Heal! Enlist the services of a behavior health professional if you need too, just HEAL.

Raise healthy loving kids that will grow up and raise health loving peaceful kids.

Some will be teachers, doctors, scientist, builders, farmers, ranchers and artist.  If they are doing what makes them happy and growing personally as a human it’s all OK.  The only person any of us should be competing with or comparing ourselves to is who we were yesterday, striving to grow and be better than yesterday inwardly.  Many parts make the whole. There is no cookie cutter mold our children have to fit into.   We have to nurture and inspire them along the way.   Let’s support each other and them.

Mothers? Fathers? Grandmothers? Grandfathers? Sisters? Brothers? Sons? Daughters?  You in?

The children are our future.

Let’s set that cycle in motion. Starts with you. All up to you.

If you see yourself in the maybe’s, above-as I did myself at one time , take heart, own it, adjust your sails and head on into healing.  No time to beat yourself up.  We need you healed and whole!!

Choose love and be full of love.  Junk out.  Love in starting with you!!

Recognizing the precious gift and treating it with care is how you change the world. One person at a time starting with you. Time is NOW. Now is all there is.

Connect with the light. It’s on the inside as much as all around you.

One Light shines in all, on all, and for all. One.  Think about it.

That’s the gift of a child.

 

~EB

 

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